A lone candle sans flame for safety reasons plunged deep into the mushy body of a birthday cake appears to be just another skinny cylinder of lackluster wax. It could’ve been so much more – the rim of FDR’s glasses at a nearby wax museum, the tip of a vibrant new crayon color, or the catalyst in an Olympic snowboarding gold, just to name a few. Instead it has found itself seconds away from certain pulverization once its cake foundation is obliterated by two small hands.
But what one doesn’t realize is that this candle stands for so much more.
Sure, this will be hard, but it can’t be that hard.
I have nieces and nephews and this will be the same.
We’re having a baby?
Did I leave the iron on at home?
These were all thoughts as my son popped out one year ago, assuming success would easily prevail.
Looking back, similar to the hopes of the candle before the cake cataclysm, mere survival would’ve been a more realistic goal.
But with every baked goods natural disaster, comes a new day.
Sunshine.
Rebirth. (Not literally another birth)
The 1st birthday party.
“What does he want for his birthday,” family and friends have asked. “Toy cars? Bath toys? Trains? Balls?”
Instead of answering each request individually, I decided to write this blog to let everyone know what he already has. That way you can be sure not to double up on anything as well as get some insight into his likes and dislikes.
But my best word of advice is if you’re in the toy or baby clothes aisle, you’re in the wrong spot. Any Lowe’s, hardware Store, or electronic distributor should do just the trick.
Here are his favorite toys at the moment. Hopefully this will help give you some gift ideas.
1. Laptop Computer
Really, any tablet, phone, PC, Mac, Android, even Commodore 64 would do
2. Straw
Straws of any kind are welcome, although none made from actual straw. See what I just did there?
3. Heater
I guess really anything with knobs would work, however before you go out and buy an air traffic controller’s dashboard, might want to see if they give gift receipts
4. Mirror
Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the drooliest of them all?
5. A mouth
Sure mouths are tough to come by these days with the … well economy and all, but if you can find a few, Logan would love to have them.
6. TV
He is really stubborn about his TV’s. He only buys the ones that you can only see from under 1 centimeter away so make sure you read the packaging first.
7. Light bulb
A replica ET fingertip would also work, but he prefers only 60Watt bulbs and above. He’s sort of elite like that.
8. Feet
Can’t get your hands on any feet? (For anyone scoring at home, that’s two double entendres so far) I suppose just a toe would probably work too.
9. Cords
Any cord essentially will do. Anything that has the potential to electrocute would do the trick.
10. Beer Tap
Too many ideas and so few characters for a caption… ah screw it, I think this one speaks for itself…
11. a box
Pretty much most boxes are acceptable, however anything bigger than a breadbox is too much. Wow this is getting to be too much wit.
12. Sunglasses
Any brand that lacks slobber-free protectant will do.
13. Blow-dryer
This may be because of the cord attached so don’t go buying up every wireless blow dryer shop you come across.
14. That’s What She Said button
Not sure how this helps but this button sure is cool.
15. Remote Control
Buttons. Fits in the hand. Drool depository. It’s the perfect toy really.
16. Box of Condoms
Family Planning critics agreed this was the most confusing ad campaign ever produced.
So… that should give you all plenty of ideas. Happy Shopping!
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