The Baby Apocalypse

“Only baby blog on the web that manages to talk about baby dreams and a primate being pelted in the family jewels in the same entry…”   – Random reader that doesn’t exist Typically the sound of a screaming giraffe being attacked by a lion, just moments away from its imminent demise coming from your bedroom…

I’m Not Touching You

As the due date draws nearer and then passes completely, you start to wonder if there’s actually a baby coming or if it’s just a bunch of dancing organs in your wife’s belly. Sure, I’d seen a few ultrasounds, spoken to a doctor or two, and felt kicks, but how do I know the movements…

Aye Aye Caption: The Results & Vote

The last caption post didn’t quite go as planned. It took me two months to find out where the submitted captions were going, but now I finally found them… So now its time to vote on the favorites! The winning caption author will receive something as a prize.What?Not really sure. Might be a pickled hen…

Foreskin Optional

In the school lunchroom if you procrastinated telling your buddy he had brownie smudged on his teeth the worst that happened was his cheerleader crush opted for a much cleaner-toothed date to winter formal. Procrastinating talking about important decisions with your wife during the final weeks of pregnancy has much graver consequences such as finding…

Aye Aye Caption

Welcome to the first ever captions segment on Pampers n’ pints. The idea is to beat the caption given with your own creative genius. This should be fairly easy since it’s not very good.English as at least a 9th language is the only requirement. The best caption may or may not win a prize. How’s…

My Husband Thinks I’m Fat

Tales from the 2nd Trimester: Part I In the wild, satisfying your pregnant partner’s food cravings can be quite difficult. Rumor has it expectant cavemen fathers would often fake an old wooly mammoth battle injury in hopes of evading their wife’s craving requests. Luckily today, man has traded hunting and gathering for supermarkets which are…