Assume The Position

Tales from the 3rd Trimester Getting ready for the immediate arrival of a baby is a lot like riding on an airplane and the attendant announces all passengers should assume ‘crash positions’ just before plunging into the Atlantic at 600 miles per hour. As if the position of your body will make any difference when…

We’re Having a Penis

Tales from the 2nd Timester: Part II As continued from Part I The second trimester is by far the best trimester. Granted, there are only three to choose from so if the first trimester is reading this blog, don’t be too down on yourself. Your wife has hopefully kissed morning sickness goodbye, the mass confusion…

My Husband Thinks I’m Fat

Tales from the 2nd Trimester: Part I In the wild, satisfying your pregnant partner’s food cravings can be quite difficult. Rumor has it expectant cavemen fathers would often fake an old wooly mammoth battle injury in hopes of evading their wife’s craving requests. Luckily today, man has traded hunting and gathering for supermarkets which are…

Smarter Than Your Average Bear

Tales from the 1st Trimester With the first trimester comes an emotional roller coaster of mood swings, nausea, and bizarre food cravings. And then of course there was how my wife was feeling. I was about prepared for a pregnancy as a Tyrannosaurus was for a face-slapping competition with Gumby. How did this actually happen,…

Two Pink Lines

 The Friday started out like any other. Beers with friends. Baseball on TV. Two faint pink lines on a cheap plastic device signaling my life was changed forever. After catching the first round of the baseball playoffs at a bar, I hopped on what  the SF Municipal  Transportation Agency calls a Muni Bus, but more…

There’s an App for That

Preparing for the birth of your first child is a lot like preparing yourself for your first trip to prison. You can read every book in the library, talk to experts, and lube up the necessary body parts, but once the lights go out and you’re left alone in a room with a scary, slimy…